Sex and the Suburbs (Part 2) Podcast

Here is part two of the series that started the Seven Day Sex Challenge.

PODCAST

Day Seven Challenge

Here is day seven homework for the three commitments we are making for the challenge:

Spiritual
(Read the following passage together, alone as a couple)

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Now pray with each other or for each other. If you don't know what to pray then ask your spouse how you can pray for them. It doesn't have to be long or fancy, just from the heart.

Emotional
(Have a conversation around these ideas)

• Go back and answer any questions you might have missed during the past week.
• Spend a minute or two writing a note of appreciation for your spouse doing the Seven Day Sex Challenge.
• Are there any adjustments you still need to make to your sex life going forward?
• Will you commit to these plans made over the past seven days?

Physical
Go on another date tonight to celebrate all that has happened in your relationship this week. Let that lead to making love today. Also, don’t forget to make the sexual fantasy come true if you have not done so yet from earlier in the challenge!

***Romantic Hint***

Give your spouse a candlelight massage or back rub.

Challenge Day Six

Here is day six homework for the three commitments we are making for the challenge:

Spiritual
(Read the following passage together, alone as a couple)

"Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure.” Hebrews 13:4

Now pray with each other or for each other. If you don't know what to pray then ask your spouse how you can pray for them. It doesn't have to be long or fancy, just from the heart.

Emotional
(Have a conversation around these ideas)

• What can you both do to keep the marriage bed (sex) pure?
• What place does emotional & spiritual intimacy play in affair proofing your marriage?
• What boundaries will you set emotionally, spiritually, and physically to keep the marriage bed pure?

Physical
Look your spouse in the eyes and reaffirm your commitment to keeping the marriage bed pure before making love tonight.

Challenge Day Five

Here is day five homework for the three commitments we are making for the challenge:

Spiritual
(Read the following passage together, alone as a couple)

(Jesus) “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” John 15:12

Now pray with each other or for each other. If you don't know what to pray then ask your spouse how you can pray for them. It doesn't have to be long or fancy, just from the heart.

Emotional
(Have a conversation around these ideas)

• What are some more creative ways you can please your spouse?
• Come up with a cue that today is a good day for sex like candles burning, the kids are away, be creative.
• Now, how many times a week should you commit to making love?
• Describe your dream date…

Physical
Go on a date tonight! Act like you are dating. Let that lead to making love tonight.

***Romantic Hint***

Send / buy / give your spouse a surprise today.

Day Four Challenge

Here is day four homework for the three commitments we are making for the challenge:

Spiritual
(Read the following passage together, alone as a couple)

“A husband should satisfy his wife's sexual needs. And a wife should satisfy her husband's sexual needs.” 1 Corinthians 7:3

Now pray with each other or for each other. If you don't know what to pray then ask your spouse how you can pray for them. It doesn't have to be long or fancy, just from the heart.

Emotional
(Have a conversation around these ideas)

• Half way through the challenge ask yourself on a scale of 1 – 10 how you are doing with each of the three commitments to intimacy (spiritual, emotional, physical)
• What kind of progress has been made in your relationship?
• Are there still things you might need to seek out wise counsel on? If so make a plan to seek a Christian Counselor together.
• If there are still things you can’t communicate to each other write a timeline for sharing it slowly over a period of time.

Physical
Watch a romantic movie (chick flick) and before making love quote one of the lines from the movie.

***Romantic Hint***
Guys, for tonight to happen get the movie before you get home from work.
Ladies, find a sitter or put the kids down early.

Day Three Challenge

Here is day three homework for the three commitments we are making for the challenge:

Spiritual
(Read the following passage together, alone as a couple)

"May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.” Proverbs 5:18-19

Now pray with each other or for each other. If you don't know what to pray then ask your spouse how you can pray for them. It doesn't have to be long or fancy, just from the heart.

Emotional
(Have a conversation around these ideas)

• Reminisce about the first time you met or your first date…
• What about your spouse that first attracted you to them, still attracts you to them?
• Write a poem (funny, silly, serious, romantic, erotic) about making your spouses sexual fantasies come true from what they shared yesterday.
• Share the poem now with each other

Physical
Light some candles and act out your poem as best you can. It is OK to laugh and have fun with it. BUT, don’t make fun of your spouses attempt to please you.

Challenge Day Two

Here is day two homework for the three commitments we are making for the challenge:

Spiritual
(Read the following passage together, alone as a couple)
“Your lips are as sweet as a honeycomb, my bride. Milk and honey are under your tongue. Your clothes smell like the cedar trees in Lebanon. My bride, you are like a garden that is locked up. My sister, you are like a spring of water that has a fence around it. You are like a fountain that is sealed up. You are like trees whose branches are loaded with pomegranates, fine fruits, henna and nard, with saffron, cane and cinnamon. You are like every kind of incense tree. You have myrrh, aloes and all of the finest spices. You are like a fountain in a garden. You are like a well of flowing water streaming down from Lebanon. The woman says, "Wake up, north wind! Come, south wind! Blow on my garden. Then its sweet smell will spread everywhere. Let my love come into his garden. Let him taste its fine fruits." Song of Solomon 4:11-16

Now pray with each other or for each other. If you don't know what to pray then ask your spouse how you can pray for them. It doesn't have to be long or fancy, just from the heart.

Emotional
(Have a conversation around these ideas)

• On a scale of 1(easy) – 10 (impossible) how difficult is it to express your wants and needs sexually?
• What sexual fantasies would you like your spouse to make come true?
• What pleases you most about your current sexual experience?
• If pleasing your spouse sexually seems like a task instead of a joy, then brainstorm how you can work on this.

Physical

Try taking a bath together while finishing up your questions before making love today.

***Romantic Tip***
Guys do some kind of household chore today without being asked.
Ladies buy some lingerie for later this week and surprise him.

Sex and the Surburbs (Part 1) Podcast

Here is part 1 of "Sex and the Suburbs" where we launched the sevendaysexchallenge.com

PODCAST

Challenge Day One

Here is the homework for the three commitments we are making for the next seven days:

Spiritual
(Read the following passage together, alone as a couple)
"An honest witness tells the truth; a false witness tells lies. Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing. Truthful words stand the test of time, but lies are soon exposed." Proverbs 12:17-19

Now pray with each other or for each other. If you don't know what to pray then ask your spouse how you can pray for them. It doesn't have to be long or fancy, just from the heart.

Emotional
(Have a conversation around these ideas)

• Is there anything you need to apologize for?
• Have you spoken words you wish you could take back?
• How can you both work on building each other up with your words instead of tearing each other down with "cutting remarks".
• Look your spouse in the eyes and tell them one truthful thing you love about them.

Physical
Spend time just touching and looking each other in the eyes before you make love today.

A Sneak Peak @ the Challenge

Here is what the challenge is all about. First, I know for the guys your first thought is “Awesome! I am going to set some kind of record or something here. Seven days of sex!” And, you are right to some degree but this is not just a physical deal. Sure, in the challenge there is going to be physical intimacy for seven straight days BUT, the real goal is true intimacy.

People want to know how to affair proof their marriages these days. The only way I know how to do it is for there to be intimacy in the marriage. And I mean physical, but also emotional intimacy and even spiritual intimacy. So that is what the challenge is really about. Creating REAL intimacy over the next seven straight days.

Now, I also know for you ladies you might be thinking this will never work because it is so forced and all the expectations and… I get that. I know how you guys like spontaneity in romance. BUT, the reality is at some point you have to make a decision for intimacy if that is what you really want. And, it may seem a little forced and scheduled but by the end of the Seven Day Sex Challenge the trajectory of your marriage will be changed. The effort you make will pay off the Bible says.

So here is the deal. To get to REAL intimacy there are a few commitments you have to make during the Seven Day Sex Challenge. The first commitment is that for the next seven days you will be committed to each other:

Spiritually. Each day on this website there will be scripture reading for you to do together as a couple. And, when you are done pray together (or for each other) even if you never have done it. Be spiritually committed to each other for seven days. Then the second commitment is to be committed to each other:

Emotionally. This is where you turn off the TV, put the cell phone away, and spend time being attentive to each other. Guys, picking on you… look her in the eyes and listen to her! Really be there with her and rekindle that emotional fire, communicate with each other! Finally, be committed to each other:

Physically. Yes this is the sex part, this is the “Let’s get it on” time, but don’t forget the foreplay and the cuddling and the caressing. We need physical touch to feel loved. It is the way we are made so take time to just physically touch each other and then also be committed to having sex for seven straight days.

The challenge begins on Monday! Don't miss the message series "Sex and the Suburbs" at Church of the Suncoast this weekend at 10am.

Find Out About the Challenge This Sunday!

Find out about the challenge this Sunday, January 4th at Church of the Suncoast. We meet at 10am at Rushe Middle School. The challenge is a part of a new message series called "Sex and the Suburbs".

How often do you think about sex as something holy instead of something shameful and dirty? In this new series we will unpack a Biblical perspective on sex and sexuality, you will see that sex is something God created to be glorious, intense, passionate, and incredibly mysterious.

We will officially kick off the challenge during this first message. I hope you will join us.

Next week we will post content and "homework" for each day of the challenge. Check back daily!

Coming Jan 4th 2009

Check back in the New Year for content about this new message series from Church of the Suncoast

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